Hi Jim Wolfe,
I love your material! Keep up the excellent work. I wanted to share with you how much your material means to me. I found AAKH, after searching desperately for some way to make sense out of what happened to me. It took some time for my emotional wounds to heal but, what you have shared helped me so much.
You see, I spent 24 years in an unfulfilled marriage. I didn't realize it until recently but, I now believe it was because my wife never really had a very high interest in me. About 3 years ago, I was out of town on a business trip and met a women who showed some interest in me and I fell hard for her. This was before I knew anything about your advice. Long story short, we made out a few times and I got very attached to her. When I came back home from my business trip I was so disappointed that my wife didn't treat me the same as my affair interest that I decided to get a divorce.
I had visions of my future with this new woman and, even though she lived 6 hours away from me, I was sure I could make things work out with her in the future.
It wasn't long after that I initiated the divorce from my wife that things started to go south with my new love interest. I didn't really follow any of the principles you teach except for a few that were accidental. I was texting her every morning because I was sure that was helping me but I began to see her interest start to drop off over time. One day I was planning another trip to go see her when she called it off. Of course she couldn't tell me it was because she just wasn't interested in me anymore so she gave me some other excuses.
Eventually she broke up with me and I was shattered. This is when I went searching for information. At first I was searching for any advice on how to get her back. At least some of the advice I found was helpful because a lot of "experts" advised cutting off communication with her to give her some time away. What I came to realize though is that time off was helping me more than it was her.
By the time I found AAKH, I almost had relationship advice search fatigue, because I wasn't sure anyone had the answers I was looking for but, I found your YouTube videos extremely helpful. You were making sense where everybody else I found seemed to just make extraordinary claims but then never were quite able to explain things in a way that made sense to me. At least not in a way that I could apply in the real world. Many seemed to be content with sharing pickup lines but they couldn't seem to articulate the principles behind their advice. AAKH, on the other hand, WAS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!
After following, and endeavoring to implement, your advice, I eventually re-entered the dating scene. You taught me that I did need to give myself some time to heal, so I gave myself that time, not quite 24 months worth but, I think I had processed much of the emotional trauma from my marriage prior to our divorce so I was really only recovering from my relatively short affair and infatuation and that subsequent breakup. I now see that the woman I left my wife for probably wasn't a good candidate for me for several reasons, not the least of which being that it was long distance.
Anyway, I dated several women, got my confidence up, and eventually met a cutie pie that is crazy about me. I waited until she brought up dating exclusively and then committed to her. We continued dating until she hinted at marriage and then I asked her to marry me. We were engaged almost two years and were married a few months back. We couldn't be happier! I really think people envy what I have and for that I am extremely grateful to you. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I only wish more people knew what you have to offer.
My gratitude is not the only reason I wanted to write you, however. Because I am a selfish bastard, I wanted to also ask a question ;-)
I know the milestones you are looking to check off to guage a women's level of interest while dating are if she shows up for your dates, kisses you back, etc. I also know that the things that keep a woman interested for the long term are different than when starting to date and progress in the relationship. I know you have also mentioned that if your wife, or long term girlfriends', interest starts to fade that you can introduce a little preselection, or take a little time away, etc.
What I am wondering though is, what kind of indicators can I be on the lookout for to determine that her interest in me might be falling after being married for a while? I know you have said that if she volunteers time away that it might be too late so I want to make sure things don't ever get to that point. Of course, I think she knows pretty clear that I would leave if things ever did get unbearable but, I would rather avoid that hassle if I can.
Any specifics you can share, or point me in the direction of, would be most appreciated!
Thank you again my man!
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